Biden Forgets Nation’s Name

WASHINGTON—At a press event Monday held to address the student debt crisis, President Joe Biden made a speech during which he appeared to forget the nation’s name. “Instead of saying ‘the United States,’ President Biden began using words like ‘bud’ or ‘amigo’ to project familiarity, but it was obvious he couldn’t remember the name of the country he had come into East Room of the White House to talk about,” said Casey Pritchett, a journalist who attended the press conference, observing how Biden frequently furrowed his brow, squinted, and paused during moments when he seemed to be struggling to remember that citizens of the nation he governed were called Americans. “At one point he said, ‘Education is the cornerstone of a free and prosperous society, and so we must ensure the next generation of our fellow, uh…our buddies—the people here in this place where we live—are able to afford college.’ Then he stated talking about opportunity, but instead of saying ‘the American Dream,’ he just called it ‘the Big Awesome Dream.’ I’m not sure he knew where he was.” Biden later issued an apology for the gaffe, saying he had consulted a history book to refresh his memory and confirmed that he lived in the Algonquian fishing village of Nacotchtank.