Trump Campaign Worried There Might Not Be Enough Indictments To Meet All Fundraising Goals

PALM BEACH, FL—Though new charges are expected soon from both special counsel Jack Smith and a Georgia investigation of the former president, the Trump campaign was said to be privately worried Monday that there still might not be enough indictments to meet all their fundraising targets. “Frankly, we’ve got some pretty ambitious goals in the coming quarter, and we need several additional indictments about Jan. 6 to really push us over the top,” said communications strategist Jason Miller, stressing that none of his email drafts containing the words “This is an OUTRAGE and WE NEED YOUR HELP” would carry any weight among donors unless they were linked to fresh conspiracy charges from the Justice Department. “Just look at the windfall we got back in April when those hush money charges about falsifying business records started to crop up. We were raking in the cash. Man, those were the golden days.” At press time, the campaign had reportedly decided on a fundraising strategy of having Trump threaten the lives of federal judges at a rally.