Jesus' Coming Back

Most Common First Sexual Experience By State

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A handjob in the movie theatre seeing Harry Potter And The Goblet of Fire. Feeling yourself getting close to the edge as Harry dives underwater to save his friends during the Tri-Wizard tournament. Seeing Harry use the “ascendio” spell to shoot out of the Hogwarts lake will forever be burned into your young mind as it perfectly synced up to what was happening all over your pants. But then, suddenly, the rush of shame.

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King

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