Poll Finds Ron DeSantis Candidate Voters Could Most Imagine Drinking Beer Alone

WASHINGTON—According to a poll released Tuesday by the Pew Research Center, 83% of voters think of Ron DeSantis as the presidential candidate they could most imagine drinking a beer alone. “We surveyed over a thousand likely voters and found that out of every Republican seeking the nomination, Gov. DeSantis is the one whom Americans could best picture sitting at the end of a bar by himself and avoiding eye contact with anyone else except when he needs to order another drink,” said Pew spokesperson Kevin Neeley, who noted that approximately two-thirds of poll respondents stated that they could easily visualize the two-term governor and former congressman staring into his half-empty beer glass and letting out a long sigh as his visibly forced smile drained from his face. “What this tells us is that voters see DeSantis as the sort of guy who could really just spend a whole evening nursing a Heineken alone in a dark corner of a bar. Maybe he tries to strike up a conversation with a group of regulars and then realizes no one heard him and so he lapses into dead silence again. Really, this is some of the best news his campaign could hope for at this point.” The poll also showed that Trump remained the candidate voters could most imagine getting drinks with a Ku Klux Klan grand dragon.