State Farm Unveils Insurance Policy That Protects Customers Against Jackson Mahomes

BLOOMINGTON, IL—In an effort to offer a more competitive slate of financial protections for modern hazards, State Farm unveiled a new insurance policy Tuesday that protects customers against Jackson Mahomes. “Residents in the Kansas City area, as well as in cities where the Chiefs’ divisional rivals play, are at high risk of an unexpected expense after being affected by Jackson Mahomes,” said State Farm spokesperson Delia Gregg, adding that State Farm would advertise the policy in a new commercial that features a Jackson Mahomes lookalike who is seen dabbing at a bar before he turns around and punches a fellow patron in the face. The ad will reportedly be narrated by Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes. “We know that Jackson Mahomes can strike at any time, and we want our customers to feel secure in the knowledge that this policy will cover them in the event of an extreme Jackson Mahomes, reimbursing any damage, injuries, and/or mental hardship caused by Jackson Mahomes for up to $50,000, particularly if those injuries or hardships are documented on TikTok.” At press time, sources confirmed that within 48 hours after unveiling the policy, State Farm was already processing 53 claims from customers at a single bar in downtown Kansas City.