Study Finds 96% Of Americans Willing To Kill Anyone Who Makes Them Wait More Than 10 Seconds For Anything

LAS VEGAS—Shedding light on average response times to an unanticipated delay, a new study published Tuesday by the University of Nevada, Las Vegas found that 96% of Americans were willing to kill anyone who makes them wait more than 10 seconds for anything. “Our findings show that if punishment were no obstacle, the vast majority of Americans are prepared to wrap their hands around the neck of anyone who forced them to be stuck in congested traffic or stand in a slow-moving line for a bagel,” said study coauthor Heather Menendez, adding that even with legal constraints, more than 40,000 deaths per year could be attributed solely to someone snapping after being unable to begin swiping their items through a self-service checkout line or start a conference call within seconds of being ready. “We found that Americans across all age, race, and other demographic groups have a countdown clock in their heads that triggers an earth-shaking fury directed at any fellow customer, cashier, motorist, or coworker who makes them wait more than five seconds for any reason. Once five more seconds have passed, this fury metastasizes into not only intent but a plan to kill the person responsible for their delay. While over 80% of Americans give more leeway to a close friend or family member who makes them wait to eat a sandwich or use the bathroom, well over 90% are willing to kill them by the 20-second mark. Even in cases where killing or severely wounding the person making them wait would significantly prolong their wait time, most Americans are still ready and willing to shed others’ blood.” The study also found that over 60% of Americans who just miss the train and have to wait or are put on hold for more than three seconds are willing to kill themselves.