FAIRFAX, VA—Presenting the toddler with an oversized novelty check for $20,000, the National Rifle Association reportedly awarded a scholarship Tuesday to 18-month-old Jax Edelwright for shooting his entire family. “The NRA is proud to honor little Jax here for his outstanding work in the field of gun negligence,” said NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre, who praised the young Second Amendment activist for managing to shoot and wound not only his father with the unsecured handgun he discovered in his parents’ bedroom, but also his pregnant mother and his grandmother too. “Along with the college scholarship, Jax will also be receiving a lifetime supply of free ammo. He may be young, but he is so accomplished. We hope that Jax’s incredible and uplifting story can serve as inspiration for every gun owner.” At press time, the NRA had reportedly revoked the scholarship after learning that Edelwright was the child of an immigrant.
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