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Ladies, have you ever been ready for a game to start when you looked over at your opponent and thought, “Hold up — is that a dude?” To help you figure it out, we at the Babylon Bee have put together eight subtle signs that you might be playing against a trans athlete:
- On their jersey, the name “Steve” is crossed out and “Jessica” is written over it: Seems a bit suspect.
- When they get hit in the groin, they yell, “Ow, my balls!”: Not a sure sign, but something to look out for.
- They asked to have a urinal installed in the ladies’ room: Awfully suspicious.
- You just got scratched by their beard while driving to the hoop: Don’t want to rush to judgment here, but just might be a guy.
- They were ranked in the 400s last season but suddenly are the number 1 athlete in the state: Sus.
- They break three of your fingers during the postgame handshake: Plus, your team just lost 514-6.
- Adam’s apple keeps poking you in the eye when you try to guard ’em: The price you have to pay for equality.
- They can actually make penalty shots: That’s a dead giveaway right there, folks.
There you have it — subtle, but very telling evidence you’re competing with a guy. Just make sure you don’t complain about it, or you’ll be called a bigot. Enjoy the game!
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