DES MOINES, IA—Triggering an ear-splitting backlash from voters gathered at the Iowa State Fair, Ron DeSantis was reportedly booed off stage this week after flashing his stomach on stage. Several reports indicated that DeSantis stopped speaking mid-sentence at the campaign event to lift his shirt into the air, silently exposing the entirety of his plump abdomen to the crowd of Republican voters, who immediately began heckling the candidate. According to eye witness accounts, the Florida governor attempted to regain control of the room by giving his stomach a single enthusiastic slap, which only further provoked the furious crowd to take off their own shirts, ball up the garments, and pelt the candidate, screaming “Cover up, freak” and “We want Trump’s tummy.” At press time, the DeSantis campaign had issued a statement clarifying that the candidate was trying to communicate that he was hungry to end wokeness.
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