Dave & Busters Announces Half-Off Tuesday Nights For Divorced Men Choosing Between Killing Themselves And Skee-Ball

DALLAS—Stressing that the demographic group represented a vital part of their customer base, restaurant and video game chain Dave & Busters rolled out a half-off Tuesday nights promotion this week for divorced men choosing between killing themselves and Skee-Ball. “We’re happy to give recently divorced men contemplating suicide a reason to get out of their empty apartment on a Tuesday night with a can’t-be-beat deal on Skee-Ball,” said Dave & Busters spokesman Cyrus Hawley of the Don’t Do It promotion, adding that the offer would encourage divorcees to put on a clean shirt and shower rather than staying in and wondering how to end their loneliness and frustration once and for all. “Forget about that bottle of sleeping pills on your bureau. Skee-Ball is a game that nobody judges you for playing alone, even if it’s for several hours on a Tuesday night. If a few dollars off each session is going to help you make it through another loveless evening without your family, we’re happy to come to your rescue. Divorced men need to know they have so much to live for, like the possibility of earning enough points on their Power Card that they could rent their kids a party room next time they have custody. Hey, maybe they’ll even start saying they love you again. It’s probably worth a try, anyway.” Hawley added that divorced men could also drink all they want while playing Skee-Ball and that no one could tell them to stop, not even their nightmare of an ex-wife.