Eight Ways To Point To God During Football Games (Besides Tebowing)

Brought to you by: First Liberty Institute

Remember the good ol’ days when you could Tebow in a public-school stadium without fear of losing your job? With football season getting started, The Babylon Bee is here to save the day with a list of other ways besides Tebowing to honor God during a football game.

1. Enter the stadium on a flaming chariot: Set a Heavenly tone right out of the gate.
2. Write the entire book of 2 Samuel on your eye black stickers: Just make sure you write really small.
3. Bring in a Pentecostal pastor to slay the defensive line in the spirit: The Lord is my blocker, I shall not want.
4. If you’re a quarterback, take all your snaps from the shotgun, because touching the center’s butt is gay: Avoid even the appearance of evil.
5. Throw a Hail Mary on every single play: Note: only works for Catholics.
6. Pluck out your eyes to avoid looking at the dancing cheerleaders: Avert your eyes and stay pure!
7. After scoring a touchdown, spike the ball in your opponent’s face and scream “Boom shakalaka, sucka!”: It will remind fans how the Lord will one day crush His enemies under His feet.
8. When a teammate slaps your butt after a play, turn the other cheek: Then, do unto him as he did unto you.

Try one at your next football game, or better yet, try them all! Let us know any we missed!

NOT SATIRE: If you’re a person of faith, you’ll love this. The Supreme Court recently overturned a 50-year-old legal precedent that permitted open hostility to public expressions of faith.

To get the word out, this calls for… more public expressions of faith!

The now overturned precedent was used to fire high school coach Joe Kennedy.

His crime? Praying in public after games.

It took seven years of court battles to get the precedent overturned and his job back.

To celebrate, my friends at First Liberty Institute created the “First Freedom Challenge.”

We want people to fill local stadiums and pray after the game — just like Coach Kennedy on his first game back — Friday, September 1st.

Here are three things you can do to promote the First Freedom Challenge.

1. Sign-up now at RFIA.org and commit to praying with Coach Kennedy on September 1st.
2. Record a short video message challenging people to take a knee in prayer with Coach Kennedy.
3. Share your video message on social media.

It’s been decades since Americans enjoyed this level of freedom. So, let’s express our faith!

Sign up to take the First Freedom Challenge at rfia.org.

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Babylon Bee