NEW CASTLE, DE—In response to the onslaught of terrifying torment, an entire sleepover at local boy Joshua Campbell’s house Wednesday was spent avoiding his older brother, Gus, who has behavioral issues. “I spent all night locked in Josh’s room as Gus banged on the other side threatening to beat us to death with a Wiffle ball bat if we didn’t let him play with us,” said Campbell’s friend Logan Neubauer, explaining they ran away from him after he started hitting his head on the wall in frustration until it turned bloody because someone else chose Kirby in Super Smash Bros. “He followed me when I went to the bathroom, stood outside, and screamed at me. He kept yelling about how he was the only one who could use that bathroom because all his medication was in there and no one was allowed to see it. Then he just kept yelling the word ‘cock’ over and over.” At press time, Campbell’s father was seen hitting Gus with a belt in front of all the sleepover guests.
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