Guantanamo Bay To Remain Open Indefinitely After Earning National Historic Landmark Status

GUANTANAMO, CUBA— In recognition of the pivotal role the structure has played in America’s legacy, sources confirmed Friday that Guantanamo Bay Detention Center would remain open indefinitely after earning national historic landmark status. “We want to honor the incredible contribution this detention camp has made in crafting the identity of these great United States by keeping this a fully functional facility for as long as possible,” said President Joe Biden in an official preservation ceremony, explaining that anything to modify the prison would spoil the character of its original construction, including removing the detainees. “There are some who want to see this place torn down, those people do not have any regard for true American history. Instead we’re going to protect this essential piece of Americana, because a lot of incredibly historical things happened at this very spot that affected the United States as well as the entire world. By enshrining this commemorative placard, all will know that the U.S. is proud of everything Guantanamo Bay Detention Center has done.” At press time, President Biden announced a visitors center would be opening allowing tourists to view detainees being rectally fed and waterboarded.