North Korea Confirms U.S. Soldier Travis King Now In Charge

PYONGYANG—Stressing that the escaped 1st Armored Division private had proven himself time and again, North Korea officials confirmed Thursday that U.S. soldier Travis King was now in charge of their government. “Of course, we were initially skeptical of an American in our ranks, but Supreme Leader King has demonstrated an unparalleled work ethic and commitment to the cause of the Democratic People’s Republic,” said Vice Premier Pak Jong-gun, who noted that the cabinet had first taken note of King’s bravery in his remarkable decision to risk his life crossing the Korean Demilitarized Zone. “He’s worked his way up quite quickly since then, but that’s just a testament to his ruthless decision to consolidate power by executing virtually all of the top brass. Plus, on a personal level, he just gets along with everybody.” At press time, King had released his first address to the nation confirming that, thanks to his assistance, North Korea now had a functional nuclear arms program.