Jesus' Coming Back

Ex-FDA Official Confirms Existence Of Vegetables

Image for article titled Ex-FDA Official Confirms Existence Of Vegetables

WASHINGTON—Testifying before a House Oversight subcommittee about a truth long withheld from the American public, whisteblower and former Food and Drug Administration official Ron Freeley confirmed the existence of vegetables Thursday. “Despite the U.S. government’s extensive efforts to hide them, vegetables are out there,” said Freeley, who told members of Congress that for decades the FDA had kept leafy greens and root vegetables tightly classified, silencing anyone who tried to come forward with evidence of spinach, potatoes, or carrots. “In the facility where I worked, there was a refrigeration unit where FDA workers often stored non-meat biologics. There was even a room where they placed vegetables on a table and cut into them. It’s terrifying stuff.” Several committee members expressed skepticism when Freeley showed them a blurry photo of a cucumber, arguing that the fleshy, seed-containing produce should technically be classified as a fruit.

The Onion

Comments are closed.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More