ATLANTA, GA — Sources in the Fulton County Sheriff’s Office today confirmed that former president Donald Trump paid the extra $12 required to get the cool laser background on his mugshot.
“You can pick from lasers, a forest scene where you pose against this tree, or a starfield,” said the photographer as Trump carefully mulled over his options. “There’s the regular kinda dark blue one, too, for no upcharge, but you know, only the poor kids do that.”
“I think, you know, I have to go with the lasers, Carla,” he said. “Lasers are cool, everyone knows that. I’m a cool president, a cool guy. Lots of people have told me that. I just feel, you know, that lasers are the way to go here.”
He then made finger guns at Carla the photographer and said “pew pew pew,” witnesses claim.
Sources at the county jail say Trump’s mugshot turned out “incredible, tremendous, one of the best we’ve ever seen” and said Trump looked “totally radical” and “bad to the bone” atop the field of intersecting blue and pink laser beams flying all over the place.
Trump had reportedly thought about doing a “neato” orange neon background, but he blended in too much and was asked to pick another selection.
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