ATLANTA—After being indicted by a grand jury in Georgia for his attempts to overturn the 2020 presidential election, Donald J. Trump reportedly traveled to Atlanta Thursday and turned himself in to a Fulton County strip club. Trump, according to multiple witnesses, could be seen exiting his heavily barricaded motorcade, giving a thumbs-up to his supporters, and walking with his hands up toward the Tiger Lounge Gentlemen’s Club. Upon reaching the entrance, Trump then opted to give a short impromptu press conference, where he thanked the brave bouncers, exotic dancers, and topless hostesses for serving their country, all before having a feather boa wrapped around his neck and being somberly led inside. At press time, Trump was seen leaving a private room with his shirt unbuttoned, red lipstick marks on his collar, and pink handcuffs around his wrists after giving several exotic dancers over $200,000 in singles.
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