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Shocked Woman Wonders Why High School History Class Never Taught Her That Nicole Kidman Dated Lenny Kravitz

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NORTH HEMPSTEAD, NY—Expressing shock that her history curriculum had failed to include such a significant event from the nation’s past, local woman Beth Hudson, 22, wondered aloud Friday why no class she took in her four years of high school ever mentioned that Nicole Kidman once dated Lenny Kravitz. “When we got to the 21st century, my American history course covered Bush v. Gore, 9/11, and the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq, but not a word was said about the 2003-to-2004 relationship of these two major celebrities,” Hudson told reporters, adding that she felt embarrassed to have reached adulthood without learning that the pair had cohabitated and that Kidman would sometimes take a teenage Zoë Kravitz to the movies, facts that appeared to have been “very conveniently” omitted from her textbooks. “They were engaged, for God’s sake! Now I’m left to wonder what else I wasn’t taught, because if Nicole Kidman almost marrying Lenny Kravitz but then breaking it off wasn’t deemed important enough to warrant a single bullet point or sidebar, my whole education immediately becomes suspect. Was everything they taught me a lie?” Hudson later shared with reporters an old high school notebook that clearly showed how her history teacher’s lesson had skipped right from Tom Cruise to Keith Urban.

The Onion

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