Texas Cancels School Over Concerns Extreme Heat Not Safe Environment For Shootings

PLANO, TX—Citing faulty HVAC systems and temperatures over 100 degrees, Plano Independent School District in North Texas canceled classes Friday over concerns that the extreme heat made its campuses unsafe for mass shootings. “We take the well-being of our students very seriously, which is why we have suspended in-person school until the heat dies down and our buildings can be shot up without the weather putting anyone’s health at risk,” said superintendent Theresa Williams, explaining that the last thing the district wanted was for school shooters to pass out from dehydration or heat stroke. “We know that a disaffected assailant’s aim can be affected if the heat makes them too woozy, and that’s not a risk we’re willing to take. This is also out of consideration for the police, who would be standing outside in the blazing heat while the shooting took place inside.” Williams added that students would be better off if they spent the day doing all their shootings inside their air-conditioned homes.