KHAZAD-DÛM — A local man suffered from an embarrassing “boomer” moment today, as Gandalf the Gray experienced great difficulty remembering the password to unlock the Doors of Durin at the West-gate Moria.
“Oh dear me,” Gandalf was heard grumbling to himself as the party he was traveling with arrived at the hidden entrance. “What is my password again? I know it was something easy that I knew I could remember. Great elephants, this is embarrassing!”
The group accompanying Gandalf on the trek — consisting of two men, an elf, a dwarf, and four hobbits — collectively rolled their eyes as they realized the old man had forgotten his password. “May his beard wither,” Gimli the dwarf reportedly muttered out of frustration as he and the others sat down near the locked door.
“Quiet, you fool!” Gandalf responded. “I know I’ve got it written down somewhere on a post-it note, confound it all. I’ll think of it sooner rather than later. I just need to sit and have a good smoke.”
As Gandalf prepared his pipe and the hobbits cooked their seventh meal of the day, others from the party began to explain to him alternative methods to avoid forgetting important passwords. “Using mnemonic devices works best,” Aragorn said, while Legolas the elf attempted to educate Gandalf on the importance of encryption and 2-factor authentication, to which Gandalf responded by threatening to use Legolas’s head to open the doors.
At publishing time, Gandalf had finally remembered the password (“mellon” in the Elvish tongue) and the group gained entry, with Gimli making his apologies and blessing Gandalf with wishes that his beard would grow ever longer.
In Disney’s upcoming reboot of 1937’s Snow White, will the Prince kiss the sleeping princess? Or will he obtain her consent first?
Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction
Babylon Bee
Comments are closed.