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Beyoncé Hires Mohammed Bin Salman To Perform At Her Birthday

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LOS ANGELES—Verifying reports that she shelled out more than $100 million for the private show, insiders confirmed Monday that Beyoncé hired Mohammed bin Salman to perform at her recent birthday party in Bel Air, CA. “Beyoncé spared no expense in bringing her favorite artist, the crown prince of Saudi Arabia, to her 42nd birthday bash,” said a source close to the “Single Ladies” singer, claiming Salman performed for 90 minutes to a star-studded crowd that included Jay-Z, Rihanna, and Lady Gaga, the latter of whom joined the Saudi prime minister onstage for an encore duet of “Shallow,” per the lady of the hour’s request. “Concealed in a plume of smoke as he rose up to the stage from a hidden platform, Salman immediately launched into a rant in Arabic about the price of crude oil, and Bey just went nuts, mouthing along with every word. He hasn’t been back to the U.S. since 2018, and Beyoncé decided she just couldn’t wait for his next North American tour. The best part was when he called the birthday girl up to the stage for a mime-stoning before launching into an a cappella rendition of ‘Sana Helwa Ya Gameel,’ which practically brought the room to tears.” The source also confirmed rumors of Salman’s demanding event rider, which reportedly included a large bowl of brown-only M&M’s and a stable of journalists to behead.

The Onion

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