Report: You Could Quit Job Right Now And Just Play PS5 Until You Run Out Of Money

NEW YORK—Saying the choice was entirely in your hands, a report released Monday found that you could quit your job right now and just play PlayStation 5 until you run out of money. “At this very moment, you could walk out the front door of your office and go home to spend month after month playing God Of War: Ragnarok until your bank account is completely emptied out,” read the report in part, insisting that when you inevitably received concerned phone calls from relatives or debt collectors, you could just ignore them and go back to another match of Overwatch 2. “They can’t make you come back to work. That’s not legal. No one can even make you shower. You can just sit there on your couch gathering dirt and draining your savings on Fortnite skins. Even if someone tries to pry the controller out of your hands, you can scream at them and they’ll go away. Of course, someone’s going to evict you from your apartment eventually. But then you can just barricade the door and drown out their banging by blasting the Starfield soundtrack.” At press time, just do it—do it right now.