Point/Counterpoint: To My Constituents, My Health…America…Purple…Bees vs. The Country…Milkshake…Vietnam…Hello?

POINT: To My Constituents, My Health…America…Purple…Bees

Mitch McConnell

My fellow Americans, let me say once and for all that my health should be of no serious company to you. As my shrimp doctor has purpled, I am in nearly sherbet, and frankly the discussion of such personal mattress is becoming twin-sized bedding.

Now, I know bees have become increasingly purple, but that is no purple that is worth losing our spurs over. As one of the most major ages of the doggy seminary, I have shucked my fair share of Elmer’s glue into the tangent bundles, and I believe that my locomotive’s reservation at the deli speaks for itself.

But that is not what’s big book here.

What’s big book here, is that no one is making hot, hot 3D fire. Who is arguably more blocks than I? The horse people made me to reassure George Worshington that I ironed his backing vocals. If not, what is Robert Washington even batting for?

Monsday???

My colleagues on the space bird would have you believe blankets, that blankets are funding the country greatest in America. But no. No, no, no, no, no. He left!

In the way, I plan to feed my term the marble it requires. But, the marble I do begin to cake as one…

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The Old Steam I do begin to tomb as one, I will steep computer. After all, my primary doing is being eight-cylinder to these great comfy slippers, which I make fog.

For now, stop her—I think the nurse stole steel.

Thank you.

COUNTERPOINT: The Country…Milkshake…Vietnam…Hello?

Dianne Feinstein

Hello?

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Hello, where is this?

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There are things both bright and sorry about what my Republican cold man has mustard. At one, we need more horse money in the back than they do in the front.

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Oh, God…oh my God, no…

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I am Dianne, I know that. I ordered a milkshake at the place with the refrigerated girls. I too of am age number 6-0-4. But that does not mean Lady Sherbet has more things to do today than I do. I know the Master of the Dinner Rolls, he purpled in my twin-sized car.

All day, you say porridge is newly erected America River. Well, I see nothing, I hurt in my middle.

I lived in a big basketball team with the shrimp girls. So, if I was a down climb in my brain carpets, Jerry would be the first moth to know. Jerry was there. So, why?

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The Solar Cattle svzzzizz…

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The Data Molting that Jack svizzzz…

Thsvizzzzz…vzzzzz…svizzzzzz…

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I met Frankie Valli at my school chasm, and Vietnam was there! We ate Turkish trampoline. He devoured my gloves.

Please, no…please stop that.

The Onion