With the 2023 NFL season kicking off this week, Onion Sports has in-depth analysis of every team in the AFC.
Advertisement
Buffalo Bills, AFC East
Buffalo Bills, AFC East
Advertisement
Strength
They probably won’t have a guy nearly die on the field again.
Advertisement
Weakness
All the talent on the roster will really force the Bills to struggle to get blown out in the playoffs.
Advertisement
Number Of ‘Love For Damar’ Shirts That Will Be Awkwardly Stuffed In The Back Of A Drawer After The Bills Cut Him Midseason
Number Of ‘Love For Damar’ Shirts That Will Be Awkwardly Stuffed In The Back Of A Drawer After The Bills Cut Him Midseason
Advertisement
Prediction
Prediction
Another division title will propel the Bills into the upper echelon of NFL teams who just can’t get it done.
Advertisement
Miami Dolphins, AFC East
Miami Dolphins, AFC East
Advertisement
Strength
While the secondary lacks top-tier talent, several of the cornerbacks were able to watch game film and identify which plays were passes.
Advertisement
Weakness
Quarterback Tua Tagovailoa apparently did jiujitsu training this offseason to learn how to get sacked better, if that gives you an idea of where this team is at.
Advertisement
Favorite Miami Hot Spot
Favorite Miami Hot Spot
Hard Rock Stadium.
Advertisement
Prediction
Prediction
Jalen Ramsey’s season-ending injury won’t sink the Dolphins hopes the way Tua Tagovailoa’s upcoming one will.
Advertisement
New England Patriots, AFC East
New England Patriots, AFC East
Advertisement
Strength
The newly signed JuJu Smith-Schuster and Ezekiel Elliott could be huge upgrades to the offense if they end up playing quarterback.
Advertisement
Weakness
One sad old man clinging to faded glory is still the biggest upside this franchise has.
Advertisement
Credit Score
Credit Score
Advertisement
Prediction
Prediction
The kind of season that will make Patriots fans act like they haven’t won a championship since 1899.
Advertisement
New York Jets, AFC East
New York Jets, AFC East
Advertisement
Strength
Aaron Rodgers’ arrival has the Jets poised for an entirely new era of dysfunction.
Advertisement
Weakness
Aaron Rodgers didn’t bring enough magic crystals.
Advertisement
Player To Watch
Player To Watch
Aaron Rodgers will bring the Jets to the dazzling heights of repeatedly failing to convert third and short.
Advertisement
Prediction
Prediction
The Jets are getting plenty of Super Bowl hype from people who apparently just became acquainted with the sport of American football in 2023.
Advertisement
Denver Broncos, AFC West
Denver Broncos, AFC West
Advertisement
Strength
Russell Wilson isn’t as marketable as he once was, which might force him to focus on being good at football again.
Advertisement
Weakness
The money and trades to acquire both Wilson last year and Sean Payton this year have left the Broncos with only six other players on their roster.
Advertisement
Player To Watch
Player To Watch
Quarterback Russell Wilson spent training camp constantly pressuring defensive players to buy his football-shaped bread.
Advertisement
Prediction
Prediction
Russell Wilson gets divorced.
Advertisement
Kansas City Chiefs, AFC West
Kansas City Chiefs, AFC West
Advertisement
Strength
Very good at generating viral content for NFL.com and its social media platforms.
Advertisement
Weakness
The allure of the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art and the Power and Light District continues to be potent distraction for Kansas City players.
Advertisement
Barbecue Sauce Recipe
Barbecue Sauce Recipe
Ketchup, yellow mustard, apple cider vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, lemon juice, molasses, honey, hot sauce, dark brown sugar, onion and garlic powder, chili powder, and lemon juice.
Advertisement
Prediction
Prediction
Jackson Mahomes is arrested in November after hitting someone with his car and fleeing the scene.
Advertisement
Las Vegas Raiders, AFC West
Las Vegas Raiders, AFC West
Advertisement
Strength
New quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo provides the team with one entire healthy foot.
Advertisement
Weakness
Professional football.
Advertisement
Player To Watch
Player To Watch
Popcorn vendor Javier Marin at the section 203 Silver Rush stand could bring some much needed energy and youth to the franchise.
Advertisement
Prediction
Prediction
We know “bad” isn’t really much of a prediction, but how else would you put it?
Advertisement
Los Angeles Chargers, AFC West
Los Angeles Chargers, AFC West
Advertisement
Strength
The Chargers looked great en route to building a 27-0 lead in their January playoff game against the Jaguars.
Advertisement
Weakness
Head coach Brandon Staley risks the health of their roster by making them play in meaningless Chargers games.
Advertisement
Offseason Recap
Offseason Recap
The Chargers front office spent most of the offseason badgering the NFL to let teams add breasts to their logos for Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
Advertisement
Prediction
Prediction
The offense, defense, and special teams will misfire on all cylinders to help Brandon Staley lose his job.
Advertisement
Baltimore Ravens, AFC North
Baltimore Ravens, AFC North
Advertisement
Strength
One of the best in the league at alienating their star quarterback.
Advertisement
Weakness
This generation of Ravens still lacks the toughness and willingness to commit homicide that made previous teams Super Bowl Champions.
Advertisement
Biggest Offseason Acquisition
Biggest Offseason Acquisition
Odell Beckham Jr. is here to prove he can’t stay healthy.
Advertisement
Prediction
Prediction
Lamar Jackson’s new offensive weapons will truly shine when helping the injured quarterback off the field.
Advertisement
Cincinnati Bengals, AFC North
Cincinnati Bengals, AFC North
Advertisement
Strength
Joe Burrow is a franchise QB, although unfortunately that franchise is Cincinnati.
Advertisement
Weakness
Offensive line endlessly entertained by watching Joe Burrow frantically scramble for his life.
Advertisement
Roster Construction
Roster Construction
The coaches realized last week that they forgot to fill a whole position but for the life of them can’t remember which one.
Advertisement
Prediction
Prediction
The Bengals quit the NFL and rebrand as a luxury sportswear line.
Advertisement
Cleveland Browns, AFC North
Cleveland Browns, AFC North
Advertisement
Strength
Quarterback Deshaun Watson is back and ready for a full 16-game suspension.
Advertisement
Weakness
Team overinvested draft capital and salary cap on criminals.
Advertisement
Are Still The Browns
Are Still The Browns
Advertisement
Prediction
Prediction
Deshaun Watson will lead the NFL this season with a 10-to-15-year conviction.
Advertisement
Pittsburgh Steelers, AFC North
Pittsburgh Steelers, AFC North
Advertisement
Strength
Wideout George Pickens looks primed for a breakout campaign just as soon as he gets on a team with a good quarterback.
Advertisement
Weakness
Second-year quarterback Kenny Pickett has a long way to go before he can replicate the impact of Ben Roethlisberger, having racked up zero rapes in his first season.
Advertisement
Roster
The Steelers are a young and hungry team, which is the coward’s way of saying “not that good yet.”
Advertisement
Prediction
Prediction
Terry Bradshaw blanks out on what team he used to play for on live television.
Advertisement
Houston Texans, AFC South
Houston Texans, AFC South
Advertisement
Strength
Get to play in NFL with real teams.
Advertisement
Weakness
New head coach DeMeco Ryans could struggle to be white enough.
Advertisement
Biggest Question
Biggest Question
Will 86-year-old owner Janice McNair accidentally sell the team after being tricked by phone scammers?
Advertisement
Prediction
Prediction
New coach DeMeco Ryans is being described as a great “culture hire,” so you know he’ll be gone in two years.
Advertisement
Indianapolis Colts, AFC South
Indianapolis Colts, AFC South
Advertisement
Strength
Every once in a while Peyton Manning stops by the Colts’ facilities.
Advertisement
Weakness
Really bad cat allergies.
Advertisement
Amount Of Time Indianapolis Sportswriters Will Give Anthony Richardson Before Screaming That He Should Be Benched
Amount Of Time Indianapolis Sportswriters Will Give Anthony Richardson Before Screaming That He Should Be Benched
Two plays.
Advertisement
Prediction
Prediction
Owner Jim Irsay strikes a splashy deadline deal for two ounces of pure Peruvian coke.
Advertisement
Jacksonville Jaguars, AFC South
Jacksonville Jaguars, AFC South
Advertisement
Strength
Trevor Lawrence is good enough to remind everyone watching that they were once that young and promising too, and somehow ended up like this.
Advertisement
Weakness
QB Trevor Lawrence could struggle to focus on football and not his beautiful long hair.
Advertisement
Key Acquisition
Key Acquisition
Wideout Calvin Ridley can help school the team’s younger players in gambling strategies.
Advertisement
Prediction
Prediction
Trevor Lawrence will stay late at the Jaguars showering facilities working in the conditioner.
Advertisement
Tennessee Titans, AFC South
Tennessee Titans, AFC South
Advertisement
Strength
The team’s awful defense will help keep star running back Derrick Henry on the field.
Advertisement
Weakness
Head coach Mike Vrabel’s terrifying nightly visits from Bill Belichick, who stands there staring through his bedroom window.
Advertisement
Key Offseason Acquisition
Key Offseason Acquisition
DeAndre Hopkins turned down other offers for the chance to work with the immortal Ryan Tannehill.
Advertisement
Prediction
Prediction
Titans coach Mike Vrabel will have this hard-hitting physical team ready for the playoffs with chicken wings, pizza, and large comfy couches.
Advertisement
Comments are closed.