Jesus' Coming Back

Friend Doing Art Must Be Really Struggling

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MILL VALLEY, CA—Expressing concern about the alarming number of creative endeavors over the past month, local man Jason Ulnar told reporters Monday that his friend who was doing art must really be struggling. “Oh man, looks like he’s back to posting his art projects to Instagram again, that can’t be good,” said Ulner of the 29-year-old, adding that the sudden burst of creativity, which included painting, drawing, ceramics, and music, could only be a cry for help. “Things were really dire when he bought a camera and started doing film photography, but I’ve never seen anything like this. Maybe I should do a wellness check. Especially if he releases another song.” At press time, Ulnar told reporters he would probably just let his friend kill himself after he tried to sell a shitty oil painting he made for $200.

The Onion

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