MARIPOSA, CA—Taking in the picturesque sight of where he will die, local hiker Lucas Tribold reportedly climbed up a ridge Monday to get a better view of where his fallen body will be found. “Wow, the climb was tough, but totally worth it for this breathtaking view of my final resting place,” said Tribold, totally at peace while explaining that there was nowhere else on Earth he would rather lose his footing and fall 10 stories to his certain demise. “It’s incredible just how far out I can see where my brains and other soft tissue will be splattered across the rocks. My corpse is going to look like an ant from up here.” At press time, park rangers climbed the ridge to get an even more stunning view of Tribold’s obliterated body.
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