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Mark Cuban Launches Company To Help NBA Owners Save Millions On Generic Free Agents

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DALLAS—Saying that every team deserved access to effective and affordable players, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban announced Wednesday the launch of a company to help NBA owners save millions on generic free agents. “The price of free agents has skyrocketed in recent years, leaving many NBA franchises unable to afford the shooting guards and swing men they need to compete for the playoffs,” the billionaire businessman said at a press conference, adding that his new venture, Basketball+ Express, could provide NBA teams with generic players from Canada, India, and China at a fraction of the cost of current free agents. “Let’s face it: Not every team has the money to afford a brand-name player like LeBron James or Giannis Antetokounmpo and still develop a strong backcourt or enough strong rotation players. It’s sad to see a team like Dallas or Houston paying these huge bills for big-name players when there are generic guys who are just as good at rebounding or defense but who don’t cost an arm and a leg. Basketball+ Express is the solution to any team dealing with rising anxiety from the costs of high-priced players.” At press time, Cuban was being investigated by the NBA for making false claims after a number of teams complained that the generic players were giving their locker rooms cancer.

The Onion

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