Danelo Cavalcante Returns To Empty Pennsylvania Prison After Everyone Else Escapes

COLLEGEVILLE, PA—Finding himself all alone in the maximum-security Pennsylvania facility, convicted murderer Danelo Cavalcante reportedly returned to an empty prison Thursday after everyone else had escaped. “Hello?” said Calvacante, whose voice echoed off the concrete walls as he wandered through the 3,830-bed prison that had been all but deserted after law enforcement put their full effort into locating the fugitive rather than guarding the inmates they still had. “Anyone here? You gotta hear my really cool story. Guys?” At press time, reports confirmed guards had ordered Cavalcante to sit still while they left to go find the rest of the escaped prisoners.