Parents Sit Adopted Child Down To Explain Why He So Much Uglier Than Them

FORT LAUDERDALE, FL—Taking time to help the boy understand the ways in which they were a little bit different than most families, local parents Amanda and Michael Sayers sat their adopted child down Monday to explain why he was so much uglier than them. “Now that you’re getting older, you might have noticed that Mommy and Daddy are what most people think of as attractive, but you’re not exactly what we’d call handsome, are you?” Amanda Sayers told her son Jeremy, saying there was a reason his adoptive parents were both a solid 8 or 9 while he was a 4 at best. “See, you didn’t come out of Mom’s tummy the way your much better-looking brothers and sisters did. You grew inside a different woman’s belly, and when you were born and came to live with our family, we had no way of knowing the tiny baby we held in our arms would, in a few short years, turn out to be so ugly. But you sure did! And here you are, a part of our family now!” Sayers added that, on the plus side, being an adopted kid meant Jeremy didn’t have to worry about inheriting her crippling anxiety or her husband’s obvious propensity toward alcoholism.