Couple Ends Mutual Silent Treatment To Bond Over Disdain For Arrogant ‘Chopped’ Contestant

SPOKANE, WA—No longer able to suppress their percolating irritation with the self-described “culinary prodigy,” local couple Kevin Cochran and Tina Hayes reportedly ended their mutual silent treatment Thursday to bond over their shared disdain for an arrogant Chopped contestant. “That dude’s, like, 23 and thinks he’s the shit just because he’s worked with squab before,” said Hayes, who from the far end of the couch spoke her first words to her live-in partner since a huge argument over the direction of their relationship two days ago, a breaking of the silence that led Cochran to agree he would be “so pissed if that prick wins.” “It’s, like, guess what, asshole? Everyone had the idea to melt the gummy bears into a sauce. And you’re literally one of thousands of Brooklyn sous-chefs who’s been on this show, so shut the fuck up.” At press time, the couple was said to have passionately embraced and begun making out after the egotistical piece of shit cut his finger while attempting to show off his knife skills.