Smiling Dad Imagines Son Off At College Playing Video Games Alone Like He Did

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—A pleasant, faraway expression overcoming his face, local father Matthew Worley reportedly smiled Friday as he imagined his 18-year-old son Mason off at college playing video games alone just like he did when he was in school. “He’s probably in his dorm right now as we speak, locking the door to his room to shut out all his peers and firing up the PS4,” said Worley, who was awash in nostalgia as he pictured his son sitting before the console on the unswept dormitory room floor in a makeshift nest of dirty sheets and blankets. “I can see him now, sitting there in complete darkness. Kid will probably be up all night, if you know what I mean, playing Baldur’s Gate 3 until the crack of dawn. I remember those days, staying up late playing Golden Axe on the Sega Genesis, nobody ever knocking on my door, crying a little bit. Guess the apple doesn’t fall so far from the tree, does it?” At press time, Worley added that if his son was really like him, he’d be kicked out in a few months after becoming depressed, addicted to gaming, and failing all of his classes.