Thousands of United Auto Workers members have walked off the job since the union initiated its strike on Sept. 15. The Onion tells you everything you need to know about about the UAW strike.
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Q: What issues are workers striking over?
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A: Low pay, long hours, declining benefits, and all that trivial bullshit they always seem so worried about.
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Q: Why is the strike happening now?
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A: Money recently became desirable.
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Q: If automakers can afford it, why won’t they raise wages?
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A: It’s not as satisfying to eat a fat, juicy steak in front of workers who aren’t suffering.
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Q: Which politicians are on their side?
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A: Basically all of them in theory and none of them in practice.
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Q: Besides increased wages, what is the UAW’s top demand?
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A: To bring back the Ford Fiesta.
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Q: How can consumers stand in solidarity with the strikers?
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A: If you can, you should buy fewer cars over the next six months.
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Q: Why was it historic for President Biden to visit the picket line?
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A: It marked the first time a sitting president was senile enough to accidentally wander near striking workers.
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Q: How has using scab labor worked out for the companies?
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A: Millions of vehicles have been made with no doors, one tire, and seats on the outside of the car.
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Q: Will a strike cause car prices to rise?
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A: Executives will make sure of it.
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Q: What are cars saying about the UAW strike?
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A: Vroom vroom vroom.
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