Jesus' Coming Back

Liberals support gender affirming surgery provided trans people can find a doctor

– After the Party Convention passed resolutions seeking to limit healthcare, the Liberal Party proudly restated their support for gender affirming surgery so long as people could manage to get a doctor’s appointment.

“Make no mistake, gender affirming surgery is life-saving surgery,” said Prime Minister Justin to throngs of cheering supporters. “That’s why we vow to treat it like we do all life-saving surgeries in : subject to years long backlogs and severe doctor shortages.”

“Does our healthcare system have its challenges? Sure, but healthcare is also technically a provincial responsibility, so maybe go talk to them,” reminded the Prime Minister.

“The most important thing is despite profound shortcomings at the provincial level, we at the federal level can proudly say that these surgeries are technically available, which technically means we can still technically brag to other countries that we have universal healthcare, and isn’t that what really matters?

In a follow-up statement, the party stated their position didn’t just apply to surgical intervention, but to hormone therapies as well, a move lauded by activists and experts alike.

“I’m happy to see their position is to treat it like any other regime of prescription drugs,” says Gender Studies Professor Hadley Dedier. “Where it’s as easy as calling your family doctor, realizing don’t have one, getting on a provincial waiting list that never calls you, going to a walk-in where they give you the drugs one time but say this is really something you should have a family doctor for if it’s going to be a long term thing, look for a family doctor again, put yourself on a few waiting lists, wait 8 more months, finally get an appointment with your new doctor, get a prescription, go to the pharmacy to fill it, call your doctor to discuss how the drugs are going and be told they moved to the US and you need to find a new doctor.”

“Truly this is a bold and brave move on part of the government,” adds Dedier.

For their part, members of the trans community expressed measured support for the government’s position.

“I mean, it’s always nice when the government isn’t actively preventing you from getting the healthcare you need, and instead is just passively preventing all Canadians, including yourself,” says Sam Collins, who identifies as female and is currently transitioning.

“It’s taken so long to get an appointment for my surgery that I’ve been thinking of asking to get my hip replaced proactively while I’m there. Who knows when I’ll have another chance to get in?”

At press time, announced they were walking back their promises to introduce a two-tier healthcare system, which they realized might introduce a loophole which would allow wealthy transitioners to pay for surgery, and announced plans to deny gender affirming surgeries to trans youth by leaving Canada’s healthcare system exactly the way it is.

Beaverton

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