Report: U.S. Economy Loses $5 Billion Every Year To Americans Rising For National Anthem

WASHINGTON—Concluding that the patriotic gesture was a significant drain on the country’s resources, a new report out Monday from researchers at Georgetown University found that the U.S. economy loses $5 billion every year to Americans rising for the national anthem. “According to our estimates, standing for ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ is draining our economy of $5 billion that would otherwise be earned from spectators checking important emails or going to the concession stand to buy another soft pretzel,” said economist Roland Mussa, whose calculations determined the average American spent nearly seven hours a year moving from standing to sitting and another 20 hours attempting to remove their hats. “Whether it’s at a Little League game or the Super Bowl, the national anthem is costing us dearly. In the moment, it might not feel like it takes very long, but those seconds add up. Just imagine how much more robust our economy could be if we didn’t have to rise at all.” At press time, Mussa added that his calculations did not even begin to account for the trillions of dollars lost when singers paused after the words “O’er the land of the free.”