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Organized Woman Pre-Packs All Week’s Lunches Into Side Of Cheek

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SAN DIEGO—Saying the practice helped her stay on track and organized each workday, local woman Beth Guerrero told reporters Wednesday she saves time by pre-packing all of her week’s lunches into the sides of her cheeks. “At first I was overwhelmed by how long it would take each Sunday to prepare and store that much food between my cheek and gums, but it’s well worth the effort,” said Guerrero, fishing around in her bulging jowls for a portion of chili—one of the five meals she had carried around for the work workweek—and then adding some hot sauce to her open mouth. “It’s just good to get that hassle out of the way ahead of time, having all my lunches ready to go and keeping them within easy reach of my tongue. Then I don’t have to think about what I’m going to eat when twelve o’clock rolls around—it’s already done and even partially digested by my saliva.” Guerrero added that she could probably save even more time during her lunch hour if she pre-chewed her food for the week on Sunday, which would allow her to simply swallow each meal in one big gulp and get right back to work.

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