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Texas Science Class Features Day Where Kids Can Execute Real-Life Inmate

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HOUSTON—In what many were calling the most exciting day of the whole school year, a group of Texas fifth-graders reportedly spent their science class Wednesday executing real-life inmates. “It was so cool! We each got to put on rubber gloves, strap our guy to the chair, and then inject him with a lethal dose of potassium chloride,” said Anthony Hernandez, a student at Oak Canyon Elementary School, adding that he and his lab partner had a blast, despite the fact that they made a real mess of their 46-year-old convicted felon while they were trying to find his jugular vein. “Some of my friends got pretty squeamish, but I loved that it took an hour for mine to die. Plus, for the ones where the drugs didn’t take, our teacher gave us guns and we got to do a firing squad. It was awesome.” At press time, the class could be heard screaming after one of the students discovered that the death row inmate she’d just killed was pregnant.

The Onion

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