Scholars Suggest Doubting Thomas Only Believed When He Saw Jesus Appear In Toast

OXFORD — A new peer-reviewed thesis has made a compelling argument that the Apostle Thomas only believed that Jesus Christ had risen from the dead after seeing Jesus’s face miraculously appear on his slice of toast one morning.

“It’s widely accepted that images of Jesus’s face appearing in toast are the most undeniable proofs of the risen Christ one can experience,” said Professor Blake Rumsey of the Oxford University Institute of Theological Brotherhood. “We have long held the belief that Thomas — also called “the twin” — was an absolute fanatic about his avocado toast. We now surmise that the risen Lord revealed Himself to Thomas by appearing on the surface of Thomas’s toast.”

“He was no longer ‘Doubting Thomas’ after the toast incident.”

While some may argue that this new hypothesis contradicts the biblical account of Thomas coming to faith in Christ’s resurrection after touching the wounds on his nail-scarred hands and spear-pierced side, scholars believe the toast miracle simply adds another layer to the pivotal event. “This does not argue against Thomas touching Christ’s hands and side,” Rumsey explained. “We simply now have reason to suspect there was an escalation of events that led to Thomas’s faith — nail-scarred hands, spear wound in Jesus’ side, and face in the toast. It fits in seamlessly.”

The scholars argue this may well also be the first in what has become a long historical record of Christ appearing in food. “People seeing Jesus’s face on a potato, claims of Mary appearing in the smear of sauce across a pizza crust — it all started here.”

At publishing time, there were already rumors circulating that Disney may have given the green light to a new Indiana Jones film that would feature the titular hero searching for Thomas’s Jesus Toast.

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