MONTREAL – Local man Morgan Powell has been accused of both “ignoring the plight of Palestinians” and “hating the only democracy in the Middle East” for his controversial position that children should not be murdered for any reason.
“I just think both the Israeli government and Hamas have committed atrocities in the last few days against vulnerable civilians, including children, that are unacceptable and should be condemned,” said the yellow bellied rube who was too much of a pussy to join one of the factions online currently arguing that their side is 100% right and the other 100% wrong.
“I acknowledge that Israel was provoked by Hamas’ attack and also that, even before the latest Israeli bombings Palestinians in Gaza were living in an open air prison that has, among many other concerns, one of the highest infant mortality rates in the world. I know there are no easy answers here but violence will just beget more violence, creating a cycle that will never end and more suffering for innocents on both sides,” added the coward who clearly just hadn’t read the right pro-Israel essay in The Atlantic and/or the right anti-Israel twitter thread.
Since Hamas’ attack and Israel’s declaration of war, Powell and other ill informed sources like the editorial board of Haaretz have made the absurd claim that Palestinians deserve human rights, self-governance and freedom of travel, but that they should not support terrorist organizations like Hamas to achieve these goals. Or that Israel has a right to exist and defend itself, but should not knowingly bomb civilian targets as revenge for an attack it was warned about and failed to prevent.
Most sources we talked to (by which we mean high-ranking right-wing Israeli government officials and fanatical Hamas militants) agree that this suggestion of a middle ground is ridiculous and a product of weak-kneed, liberal snowflake ideology.
“The idea that we could ever find common ground with an enemy that would do something as despicable as the killing of children is absurd,” said Israeli and Hamas spokespeople simultaneously.
Powell went on to say something about how Palestinians should not be blamed for the actions of Hamas just like Israelis should not be attacked for the actions of a government millions were protesting against mere months ago, but we were so disgusted by his moral turpitude that we walked away without listening.
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