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Toyota Unveils New Bitter Coating To Prevent Children From Swallowing Cars

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TOYOTA, JAPAN—Noting that the colorful, shiny vehicles are far more toxic than they appear, Toyota officials announced Wednesday that the company has created a new bitter coating to prevent children from swallowing cars. “Thanks to this state-of-the-art denatonium benzoate coating, children will be far more deterred from putting entire automobiles into their mouths,” said CEO Kōji Satō, adding that, previously, it was not uncommon for an unsupervised child to find a vehicle, swallow it whole, and end up in the emergency room. “The truth is, even ingesting a car part like a carburetor, exhaust pipe, or gasket could quickly lead to sickness or even death. But now, if a child tries to eat a Corolla, Prius, or even a Highlander, they’ll immediately spit out the vehicle onto the road, where it belongs.” At press time, Satō added that as an extra precaution, all Toyotas would also be sold in thick childproof plastic packaging.

The Onion

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