OTTAWA – The Conservative Party of Canada announced its campaign slogan for the next election will be “You think you’re better than me?!”
“Nothing encapsulates the current state of Conservative politics better than an angry, grammatically flawed invective against an unseen Liberal who the first person feels is acting all superior,” said party leader and well-known everyman Pierre Poilievre.
“I wanted to add ‘you purple haired libturd traitor’ but the party brass thought that was a bit too long.”
The slogan beat out other potential options like ‘we’ll buy you a house (don’t ask how)’ ‘Triggered much?!’ and ‘I’m scared of change and unfamiliar things so I take comfort in believing that I’m actually a proud defender of a glorious past when things were better even though I don’t really know when that time was’.
“I like ‘you think you’re better than me,” said CPC supporter Burt Cafferty. “It’s easy to remember since I already yell it at people who drive electric cars every day.”
The NDP have announced their campaign slogan will be “we’re here too.” The Green Party have gone for “climate change will kill us all. But it might do it slower if you vote Green.” The Liberals haven’t announced their slogan yet but promised to get to it after they take a big sip of coffee and look at the latest polling numbers.
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