Helpful Passengers In TSA Line Let Airplane Running Late For Flight Cut To Front

CHICAGO—Stressing that there was no reason to put themselves before the harried-looking jet, helpful passengers standing in line for the Transportation Security Administration checkpoint at O’Hare International Airport reportedly let an airplane skip ahead of them Wednesday in an effort to help it make its flight. “Look, I don’t need to be at my gate for a few hours, and that Boeing 747 is apparently boarding in 20 minutes, so I figure what the hell, let the poor thing through,” said 43-year-old Mark Kozlowski, who reportedly waved the airliner onward moments before it revved its engines in an apparent gesture of gratitude. “I had to ask a few people, ‘Ma’am, would you mind if this plane cuts ahead of you so it can get to its gate on time?’ But eventually people got the picture and just went to one side so it could motor on ahead. The TSA agents even let it go through the scanner with its vertical stabilizers still on. Feels nice to do a little good deed, y’know?” At press time, the Boeing 747 had reportedly been stopped and searched for attempting to go through security with more than 3 fluid ounces of jet fuel.