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Parents Repeat Word ‘Gentle’ While Toddler Rips Dog’s Ear Clean Off

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BAY VILLAGE, OH—In an apparent effort to turn the incident into an instructional moment for their curious 1-year-old son, local parents Josh and Lisa Cohen repeated the word “gentle” Wednesday when the toddler ripped a dog’s ear clean off. “There we go, Mason, very good job petting the doggy,” said Lisa, who then demonstrated the technique by running her hand along the shaking, shrieking schnauzer’s back as the toddler simultaneously dug his nails into the dog’s head, pulled as hard as he could, and immediately tore off an enormous, bloody chunk of flesh. “No, no. We don’t pull on the doggy, because he doesn’t like that. See how doggy doesn’t like having all the skin torn off his skull? Now, what do we say Mason? We love you, doggy! Now, let’s give him his eyes and ears back and go.” At press time, the toddler reportedly had a meltdown after he went to hug the dog, ripped open its abdomen, began disemboweling it, and was quickly dragged away by his parents.

The Onion

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