TEL AVIV – During an overseas visit aimed at quelling recent violence between the State of Israel and Hamas, President Joe Biden has suggested bringing the two sides together over a meal of barbecued ribs.
“In the midst of such awful imagery coming out of the Holy Land, I thought it might help to bridge the gap between representatives of the Islamic Resistance movement and the Jewish Homeland by hanging out at the White House to grill up some smoky Memphis-style baby backs,” began the POTUS.
“It’s like I always say, Jack – when faced with such division we need to find common ground, and who doesn’t love bacon, am I right?”
Mr. Biden called back to former President Obama’s famed “Beer Summit” he held between a Harvard professor and Massachusetts police officer, describing it as the inspiration for his proposed “Pork Parley”.
Biden continued to expand on the idea, despite a half dozen aides vigorously attempting to signal him from offstage.
“Actually, maybe before we all get together I can meet with them individually. Do you think Hamas might disarm if I send them a case of Bud Lite?” the Commander in Chief asked. “And I can’t think of a better way to discuss easing conditions in Gaza by inviting Israeli officials to do so while we tend the garden this Saturday”.
Further emboldened by his self-described “master stroke”, the President even posited expanding his venture to include other political hot spots.
“Who knows, maybe I can also get Modi to turn down the extremism while we fire up some flank steaks”.
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