Woman Claiming She From Chicago Technically From Magical Fantasy Land Inside Wardrobe

CHICAGO—Saying she apparently believes she grew up close enough to the city to count it as her hometown, acquaintances of Lucy Paden, a woman who claims she is from Chicago, confirmed Friday the 31-year-old is actually from a magical fantasy land hidden inside an enchanted wardrobe. “I guess she just figures it’s easier to say Chicago, but the Great Kingdom of Xantaria is at least five or six dimensions outside the Chicagoland area,” said coworker Evelyn Beddoe, noting that Paden allows people to think she grew up in a neighborhood like Lakeview or Bronzeville, when in fact she had to fly across her native land on a pegasus and crawl through a portal hidden within an old Victorian wardrobe to get to Chicago proper. “She spent her entire childhood frolicking with gnomes and sprinkling fairy dust across the heavens, so it was a little bit different than Chicago. Sometimes she’ll say ‘I’m from the Windy City,’ but she really means Fhorehnmere, the Land of the Mighty Gusts. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with being from a mystical land that can only be seen by a pure-hearted child. I just wish she’d be honest about it.” Beddoe went on to explain that the mysterious, ethereal Kingdom of Xantaria was “basically in Indiana.”