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Celebrities Sign Letter That Declares They’re Signing A Letter

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LOS ANGELES—In a stirring message of solidarity with the message-writing format, over 350 celebrities reportedly joined together Wednesday to sign a letter declaring that they were signing a letter. “We, the undersigned, declare that we are adding our names to the bottom of this letter,” the message read in part, featuring the signatures of such celebrities as Ben Affleck, Katy Perry, Bradley Cooper, Chris Rock, Sharon Stone, and hundreds more musicians, entertainers, and other luminaries. “In times of division, it’s important to say something in a united voice, even if it’s as simple as acknowledging that we have added our autographs to this message and thereby endorsed its contents. The letter has all kinds of words and other stuff like those little dots. We’re using pens—some black, some blue. In addition, we put our names down in cursive to show how extremely serious we are about all this.” At press time, the celebrities had gone on to demand that President Biden add his signature to the document to show his commitment to letters.

The Onion

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