DENVER—Crediting the 42-year-old music manager for the team’s remarkable and sudden success, the Denver Broncos were reportedly on a winning streak Monday after Scooter Braun began attending every game. “The Broncos have really turned things around, and it’s all thanks to Scooter, who’s apparently one hell of a good luck charm,” said Broncos fan Kelley Donaldson, who noted that Braun had been gracious enough to take photos with dozens of fans from his suite at Empower Field, where he was spotted cheering exuberantly for the team alongside the players’ wives and family members. “With Scooter on our side, we’re seemingly unstoppable. The stadium is packed to capacity every night and jersey sales are going absolutely nuts. There are rumors he’s even looking at houses in Cherry Hills Village.” At press time, the Broncos were shocked to learn that Braun had purchased the rights to their entire playbook.
Jesus Christ is King
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