CHICAGO, IL — Mayor Lori Lightfoot sent shivers down the spines of Chicagoans as she revealed her spine-tingling costume: none other than herself. The city was left stunned and slightly perplexed as the mayor emerged in what can only be described as the most bone-chilling Halloween costume imaginable.
“I thought I’d take a break from the typical spooky costumes and really go for something downright terrifying this year,” cackled Lightfoot during a press conference. “So that’s when it hit me! I already have everything I need for the most frightful, petrifying costume this city’s ever seen!”
The costume was immediately labeled by many as the “Epitome of Fear”. “I thought I was fearless until I came face to face with this costume. It’s not for the faint of heart!” tweeted one user, attaching a photo of the ominous figure.
Many Chicagoans thought that the nightmarish costume went too far and was out of line with the holiday. “Halloween is supposed to be about fun scares, not genuine terror. This costume crosses a line,” shared one local resident at City Hall. “We have children walking around out here, for crying out loud!”
At publishing time, the public outcry became so loud that authorities had no choice but to try and remove the ghoulish Lori Lightfoot mask off of her. Unfortunately, they soon realized the horrifying mask wouldn’t budge.
Their culture is not your costume. DO NOT appropriate ghost, zombie, or vampire culture this Halloween.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction
Babylon Bee
Comments are closed.