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Man Flips Between Quarterback Being Best Ever, Worst Ever 386 Times In Single Play

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CHESWICK, PA—His mind racing as he watched his hometown Pittsburgh Steelers play on television, local man Troy Belvedere is said to have flipped this week between Steelers quarterback Kenny Pickett being the best-ever and worst-ever quarterback 386 times in a single play. Coming off a successful completion, the quarterback had reportedly risen to the highest esteem in the eyes of the longtime fan, although this esteem wore off even while he huddled behind the center for the snap, at which point Belvedere decided that he didn’t have the confidence to succeed in the NFL. Belvedere, who sources confirm has watched thousands of football games in his life, mulled both “bust” and “Hall of Fame” several dozen times each as Pickett stood in the pocket searching for an open receiver. As the quarterback evaded a linebacker and scrambled around the backfield, Belvedere was overheard comparing him to a litany of quarterbacks, including Joe Montana, Ryan Leaf, John Elway, and Matt Leinert, before mentally anointing him the best quarterback in Steelers history. As Pickett’s throw sailed with little spin through the air, though, Belvedere reportedly concluded that he was most likely the worst quarterback on the Steelers’ current roster. At press time, Belvedere was heard asking why he even bothered to care about football.

The Onion

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