Jesus' Coming Back

Trivia Night Ruined Again By Bald Man With Bulging Forehead Veins Playing Alone

Image for article titled Trivia Night Ruined Again By Bald Man With Bulging Forehead Veins Playing Alone

CLEVELAND—Bemoaning the derailment of what was supposed to be an enjoyable evening out with friends, Brownstone Tavern patrons confirmed Thursday that trivia night had been ruined yet again by the bald man with bulging forehead veins playing all alone. “This was just supposed to be a way to blow off some steam with coworkers, but there’s this guy again getting curt with the host for not accepting his answer about Audrey Hepburn and demanding he look the answer up on Wikipedia,” bargoer Tim Sutherland said of the red-faced bald man in his mid-30s who had reportedly shown up to the movie trivia night nearly 90 minutes early to reserve his spot, ordering a pilsner and sitting alone while he memorized movie factoids on his phone. “The first time this happened, I almost felt bad for him because I assumed his buddies didn’t show up. But he kept loudly groaning between rounds anytime he got something wrong. And then he clapped for himself if the answer was right. Who does that? He also brought this little journal where I guess he writes out his ideas for answers. Goddammit, he sucks so much.” At press time, several patrons had reportedly left in disgust after the bald man’s one-person team the Crispy Stellas had placed first.

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King

Comments are closed.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More