SWANSEA, MA—Frustration among the spectators at a local Little League game was reportedly rising Friday as the parents of the Cardinals team expressed their annoyance that the coach’s son was getting preferential verbal abuse. “The coach has screamed at his kid for screwing up five times already, and he hasn’t even yelled at my failure of a son once,” said infuriated parent John Dillman, echoing the sentiments of several mothers and fathers watching the game who expressed allegations of favoritism when the coach scolded only his son for a play in which six different players committed errors. “My son is fucking up just as much as his kid, maybe even more. Doesn’t he deserve to get yelled at too? Why won’t that coach put him in his place? It’s so frustrating as a parent to have to sit here while he doesn’t give my kid any shit for taking his eye off the ball and is instead spending all his time chastising his son for striking out. It’s not fair.” At press time, sources reported several parents were demanding that the coach stop showing his son preferential punishment and stick their kids in right field instead.
Jesus Christ is King
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